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Chapter Prologue: A diary entry
Author: AnmesicCat
Date Published: June 23rd, 2013
A diary entry four years prior...
I have never been sure of anything, but the one thing I'm sure of at this moment is that I am unsure. We both never really knew each other as much as we thought. You smiled without a face, and spoke without a voice while I sit and listen to your glossolalia without any ears, and attempt to climb Everest.
I knew I’ve tried, but I always got closer to God before I got closer to you. Whatever's vague, I'd never compare it to silence.
Anything I'd kill to look and know, I'd destroy it with purpose, because your mind is safeguarded in a shroud that forces me away whenever I got too close to how you would react:
“No, not now, I’m busy.”
You barricaded yourself in, and as your brother and friend, I want to remove the barriers for you, but it's all a labyrinth of unspoken words, stories, and the occasional times where we forget to breathe.
It happens sometimes. I don't want either of us to be scared, but the space between seas couldn't hold its weight on the rocky waters, until we figure out how to become Moses together and separate our differences and our screaming obstacles. The only religion I follow is my own, but faith is something I can't hold without reassurance that you'll never fade away.
I couldn't help but see it, because we both knew how it felt, and I'm certain that whatever you heard in no words at all, you can decipher and place a haze in the middle of the sentence that I can't remove, they all wondered whatever happened, and how long before it ends.
You held out your palms, but I couldn't figure out what to give you; my hand, my mind or my soul. God, I wish I knew. And now it’s too late.